


5 Times a Robin Was Supposed to Cross-dress for a Mission (and the One Who Wouldn't)

by Capucine



Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types, DCU
Genre: Angst and Humor, Bad Parenting, Crossdressing, Damian is an angry little demon brat, Dick has fashion issues, Funny, Gen, Jason is a little shit, Poor Steph
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-24
Updated: 2015-10-24
Packaged: 2018-04-27 19:28:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,425
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5061088
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Capucine/pseuds/Capucine
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There comes a time in every Robin's life when they are called upon to act as the opposite gender for a mission. These are the first times for all five Robins.</p><p>Starts out pretty funny, gets less so as it goes along, I guess.</p>
            </blockquote>





	5 Times a Robin Was Supposed to Cross-dress for a Mission (and the One Who Wouldn't)

**Author's Note:**

> I got the idea from this really funny, awesome picture of all three of the first Robins (maybe Damian too, I can't remember) cross-dressing for missions.
> 
> Dick's like, "Can't I wear blue?"
> 
> Jason's just like, "I make this look good." 
> 
> And Tim looks all sulky, while Batman's just like, "Tim, quit sulking, we have work to do!"
> 
> And for the life of me, despite searching on and off for about a week, a freaking week, I can't find it! It's seriously pissing me off. I really want to credit it for the idea. 
> 
> So, yeah, if you see it, that's where this came from. >:(

Dick was not overly enthusiastic about cross-dressing for a case. He was about fifteen, but pretty secure about his masculinity as far as Bruce could tell—if the shorts and pixie boots were anything to go off of.

However, he did have a bit of a problem with the fashion.

“Dick,” Bruce said in irritation as he eyed his outfit. Yes, he passed for a girl. But not exactly a... how did he put it? Normal girl?

“What?” Dick pulled at the hem of his skirt, asking, “What's wrong?”

Ah. That's the word. Non-colorblind girl.

The outfit was an okay, fashionable outfit, Bruce was pretty sure, if you didn't look at the colors.

Fuschia blouse (with padding to make it fit right underneath), bluebird blue pleated skirt that went about mid-thigh, frightening green leggings, and striped black and white socks. Not even mentioning the wig was a brilliant redhead, and not even mentioning the big plastic red earrings.

“What?” Dick asked again.

Bruce groaned. “Dick...we're going to make an appointment with an optometrist after this. In the meantime...” Batman dug among the purchases made. He withdrew a tan skirt, a white-and-black shirt, and neutral white tights. Not perfect, but not an eyesore. “Please just wear these.”

Dick just shrugged. “Okay.”

The mission went well.

Dick did not turn out to be colorblind. He was just horrendous at matching colors, or maybe he liked all the colors at once too much.

That was the first, and one of the few, cross-dressing missions of Dick Grayson, Robin I.

–

Jason was a whole can of worms.

No, he did not vehemently reject wearing a cocktail type dress to infiltrate a swanky club with nefarious dealings.

No. He did not at all.

Bruce had been rather shocked to walk into the room after Jason was done changing not only not to find him in the much more tame dress he'd given him, but also in a much shorter, more boldly colored one. And looking at the mirror with his hip jutted out to the side and a generally exaggerated sexy pose at the mirror.

He turned and smirked at Bruce, as if he had been waiting for him this whole time. He probably had. “I make this look good.”

He was pulling an almost comical 'come hither' look.

“Jason,” Bruce said sternly, sharply. “This is not funny. Save the act for the club—and please don't lay it on so thick.”

“I'm so sexy,” Jason sing-songed, that smirky look still on his face. Then he broke into, “I'm, too sexy for my shirt, too sexy for my shirt--”

“Jason!” Bruce shouted. The pleased look on Jason's face was enough to tell Bruce he thought he'd won.

Bruce wasn't entirely sure if Jason actually felt he was sexy, really liked annoying Bruce, or was going the way of hyperbole because of how uncomfortable he was. Could have been any of the three, to be honest.

Jason swaggered towards the Batmobile. “If you need me, I'll be reapplying my lip gloss, using the Batmobile mirror. Betcha even Batgirl hasn't done that.”

Bruce just groaned.

The mission mostly succeeded, in spite of Jason breaking a guy's nose for touching his rear.

If it had been Jason's goal to never have to cross-dress again, he certainly succeeded. Bruce did not do that again.

That was the only cross-dressing mission of Jason Todd, Robin II.

\---

Tim had been a different story, the first to show opposition, even if it was sort of passive at the same time.

“Tim. You were supposed to be dressed a half an hour ago,” Bruce said, keeping his tone calm. They didn't have a strict deadline, but it did have to be tonight.

Tim sat in his chair at the computer, and shrugged. “Can't find the wig.”

“It's in a hatbox in your room.”

“Nope. Looked there.” Tim turned back, a practiced innocent expression on his face. “You can look there, if you want.”

Bruce kind of knew it would not be there. He shrugged back. Two could play at this game. “Your hair's long enough. It should be fine.”

Tim interlaced his fingers. “But I also can't find the padding. It's gone, not sure what happened. Maybe Alfred accidentally threw it out, because there aren't any girls in this house and he thought it was left over from _something_.”

The challenge was there.

Bruce gave him a flat look. “You are a virgin, Tim, and Alfred knows that.”

“And you?” Tim retorted.

Bruce glared. “Not your business, to start with, and secondly, Alfred would not throw out the padding. He would not mistake for something any women I've ever been with would wear.”

Tim's mouth twisted a little, as if imagining what women with Bruce would wear and finding it gross. “Well, either way, can't find it. And my figure isn't girlish enough on its own--”

“We can improvise,” Bruce said, a little darkly. “And it wouldn't be very hard to do with you, Tim.”

Tim glared back. “I'm not going as a girl! You can't do that!”

Finally. _Open_ opposition.

“Tim, you agreed to do whatever was necessary when you took on this position. Didn't you?”

Tim's head ducked down. “Well, yeah...”

“And it is very necessary to infiltrate the Mad Hatter's newest ring, isn't it?”

Tim groaned, a sure sign that Bruce was right. “But it's an _Alice_ dress,” he practically moaned. “And-and bloomers and all that...that...ugh.”

Bruce just gave him a stare that said, 'You realize people's lives are more important than your temporary discomfort, don't you?'

Tim threw his hands up, letting out in irritated groan. “Fine. _Fine._ But if one word of this gets out--”

“It won't,” Bruce said, not quite a promise.

It did. Not to the world at large, but both Dick and later Jason found the photos in the file that Bruce so helpfully kept.

Still, the mission succeeded, and the girls were saved and the Mad Hatter sent back to Arkham. And Tim would end up donning the disguise of a girl more than once later on.

That was the first, and unhappily to Tim, not the last of the cross-dressing missions of Tim Drake, Robin III.

–

Stephanie was a different story entirely.

She wasn't with him long as Robin, and so it was a surprise that she would even need to cross-dress at all. Hell, especially when he typically had enough guys around to infiltrate anywhere that would specifically need a guy or at least specifically not be accessible to a girl.

But, the situation came up: a group of crazy teenage white power skinheads that were as misogynistic as they were racist and otherwise bigoted. 

Batman could not pass for a teenager.

Stephanie could pass for a somewhat effeminate teenage boy.

She'd grinned at him when she'd put on the muscle suit of sorts, saying, “Hey, I bet I'd look like Tim if I put on his suit now.”

She wore the 'tough guy' kind of outfit that the members of the gang wore: leather, a number of pockets, symbols that expressed a certain amount of hatred... So on.

Her face was also made up appropriately to pass, a hint of a very bad teenage mustache on her lip and a little, just enough, contouring to disguise her more feminine face. Her hair was hidden under a very convincing bald cap.

He just frowned. “No. You wouldn't.”

She deflated, slightly, but quickly perked back up, talking about important boy mannerisms.

The mission went well, Stephanie played her part excellently, not that Bruce mentioned it.

It had only been a few weeks before the incident with the Black Mask went down.

That was the only cross-dressing mission of Stephanie Brown, Robin IV.

–

Damian.

Damian had been informed of the plan. Damian had been presented with the outfit (not even an overly frilly type outfit, just a pink t-shirt, a loose skirt, and a wig). Damian had taken the outfit.

And promptly shredded it.

“I'm not going as a girl!”

A scream fest ensued (though, the screaming was on Damian's end; Bruce, of course, only raised his voice). Many mentions were made of 'trained as an assassin, not a distraction!' and 'you wear the dress!' despite the fact it wasn't a dress.

In the end, he had to adjust the plans, all while darkly telling Damian that anything that went wrong because of this was his fault.

That was the only cross-dressing mission of Damian Wayne, Robin V—and he didn't so much as start it.

**Author's Note:**

> I really wanted to include Steph, honestly, and I feel like Batman's treatment of her was generally shitty (as was the writers').
> 
> And Damian would either severely not put up with it, or accept it in a rather professional manner like, 'What? It's part of the mission.' in my opinion. I went with the former.
> 
> I liked writing Jason's the most, honestly. XD
> 
> EDIT: Here's the source! :D (And I wish I'd found this one first, with the comments made, lol. Canon, why?)
> 
> http://gabzilla-z.tumblr.com/post/8314105737/stillthere4me-gabzilla-z-i-regret-nothing


End file.
